THE SPOT!

I kept telling myself- never get attached to any place. And just when I was almost successful at doing that, I came home.

At first is all the exhilaration of having come to the place I grew up, spent most of my life.

Then comes the state where I get used to being a fixture in that place and before I realise time flies and throws me back to where it all began. Its time to leave.
I was on the phone with a friend. He felt it was too noisy a location wherever I was standing. I was parked on the landing of the stairs. I told him I was in my favourite spot.

The space is shielded with a heavy iron door leading to a gate, both of which are always locked. On to my right is the stairs and behind me is the door to the ground floor.
Countless have been the days when I used to give the slip to people- I used to tell them,or rather announce " Am going upstairs", close the door and just stand there leaning on the iron door. The iron door had a fabrication a few inches at the top from which I could view the outside world. Being the shortest in the family, my height was never considered for anything- right from height at which mirrors were to be fixed to fabrications on iron doors!
And that was my favourite spot. The spot from where I watched people go by. All kinds of people- of whom I knew nothing, something to everything.The place was the perfect hiding place from the world. It was almost like an attic where I was staying under cover because I could watch the people pass by and no one would even notice me for only my eyes were visible from outside.
I made up imaginary conversations in my head, made up character sketches of people passing by, caricatures formed in my head about the neighbours.It was my very own story board.
I have stood there, innumerable hours, on the phone talking to people and simulatneously watching people pass by, carrying out duties of their mundane life.

Daddies dropping girlies at the school bus stop, teenagers chatting up just before they part ways, auto drivers wasting their life on the pretext of waiting for customers, aunties on their way to the temple, fighting couples, the cheap uncle in the opposite house, childhood friends who are now all grown up- all the mundane stuff.

It was the perfect spot to answer phone calls when guests came visiting(the kinds who want to know every single detail of what you do), share a secret with a friend over the phone. It was the best place to cry. With no lights on, no one could see me cry and with the door closed no one could hear me whimper. That spot where I was all alone in the midst of everyone . Visible and yet invisible.

As I stood there today, I wished I could carry that spot with me wherever I go. My spot where I can just be, like a fly on the wall, not disturbing anything around me and watch whatever is happening around me, shielded with so many doors that protect me from the world outside- the world I watched with like watching a film through a peep hole. My very own invisible cloak. If only I could take it wherever I go and watch the world pass by around me.

If only.....

Let them fight!

Ah, today was nice.
I felt I was truly back to being myself.
I am at home. Have been for the past 3 days.
I have been sleeping like crazy.
I had my tea and cookies, read my book, watched my share of TV, read some poetry on the net.
I have no idea what lies ahead of me. Not even the next day. I havent planned for the next minute.
I am back to being myself.
Guess thats what home does to you.

I had a discussion with my brother today. He was wondering what I felt about the whole blogger issue.
I told him-
" To me, it is just a news item. Just another news item of which I happen to be a miniscule part of.A news item which is progressively moving from first page importance(9 O' clock news material to) 8th page importance. By the time it reaches the last page, the search algorithms would have got corrected, people might have moved on to different blog sites.
I dont want my fifteen minutes of fame. There are people who have taken the mantle of being the spokesperson for all hurt bloggers. But to me, The government has closed the door, locked it with a huge lock, got two guards and left the window open.
I can still write. I can still log into blogger.com. As long as they dont stop me from writing, the rest of the world can fight for me."


Pssst: Just as I published this piece and tried viewing the blog...hurray it worked...I told you...it eventually will!!!! I think I just stepped into the threshold of free riding.

I am a male.... shoemaker/sailor!

My reviews went off well and now am off to Chennai- TAM LAND


According to http://www.thebigview.com/pastlife/index.html

as in this life my past life has been quite sad and uninteresting and if not anything mundane!!!!!!!!!



Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern North Japan around the year 775. Your profession was that of a sailor or shoemaker.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:Such people are always involved with all new. You have always loved changes, especially in art, music, cooking.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:Your lesson is to learn discretion and moderation and then to teach others to do the same. Your life will be happier if you help those who lack reasoning.
Do you remember now?

Of course....I do...

Good byes and such things

I am almost done with my first stint- my sales stint.

And I thought life seemed long and endless.


It has been almost three and half weeks in Ghaziabad and noida.Three and half weeks of sales , of various kinds of illness, of various blood tests, of various doctors, of various drivers.


As i prepare to move on from here ,I go through within myself this strange feeling- of leaving. Well face it I am not exactly a great fan of this place. but....

I feel like what Suketu mehta often says in his book "Ullo".Ya an idiot who has been conned by yet another city into believing I belong there.


My driver asks me " Madam aaj last day hai?(is it your last day?) My usual retort to such questions is " Ya since I am going to be dying , this is my last day." I have used that line shamelessly through various times- Last days in school, engg college, TISS.


He goes on about how much his mother wanted to make a nice home cooked meal for me( This driver of mine happens to be one of the richest people in Ghaziabad. He lives in the most posh locality here and as he says, he drives around for fun. His name is Anurag Saxena. He could well be an investment banker with a name like that and definitely a far cry from Pushpinder!!)


He asks me" Tho madam Chennai mein power cut hai?"


I used to keep thinking how Mumbaikars make the most mundane thing in life bigger than life- train timings. Any mumbaikar who travels by train will adjust his life according to the local train timings and that defines his life. Just when the 5:15 fast left, as crowded as the virar fast.....

All his verbs and adjectives will be in some manner related to his train. His friends are those from the train.

In Noida, it is the power cut. Life is shrouded by things to be done when the current is there and what to do when it is not.

I tell him " Bhaiyya mujhe patha nahin."( I dont know)

He is surprised and reaffirms if I am from Chennai.
I say no.

Oh then you must be from Tamilnadu? ( I will forgive him)


The truth is I dont know anything about Chennai. Ask me if it is okie in Coimbatore I might have a vague idea.Mumbai, I thought I knew but only of the little world that I was a part of. There are so many parts to Mumbai I cant even fathom.

The truth is I really dont belong anywhere.

I never felt I had assimilated what Coimbatore's inner fibre was all about, I didnt imbibe Mumbai's spirit, I wonder if Ghaziabad and Noida have one.

As much as I am living a life I have always wanted to, it isnt close to what I was expecting it to be.


As I move on from this place, I wonder if I am any close to finding the city I truly belong to.Yet as I leave each city I let myself into being fooled that it has been home to me for whatever little time. I recount the good and bad times and sometimes as in this case, be thankful while saying my goodbyes.

The effect I have on ppl!

This friend of mine had picked up The kite runner, which happens to be one of my all time faves.

So he had this conversation with me. After the conversation I noticed 2 horns on my head!!!

fd98698: dude I am at the end of the book
cuttysark555: cool i will tell ending
cuttysark555: :))
cuttysark555::D
fd98698: but I do not have guts to read on as I know something sad is gonna happen
cuttysark555::P
cuttysark555: u want to know if itz sad or happy ending??
fd98698: could not sleep on sunday after reading that book man
cuttysark555::))
cuttysark555: sooper macchi!
fd98698: I know its sad...
cuttysark555: hmmmmmmmm..........
fd98698: ok dude will read it today...
cuttysark555: I THINK U WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS THE ENDING
cuttysark555: i will tell U
cuttysark555: in the end....
fd98698: NOPE
cuttysark555: they all go and ......
fd98698: I am logging out
cuttysark555: bruhahahahaha - the evil laugh!

HOMEWARD BOUND

I am bach and I am leaving this place called Ghaziabad(which incidentally happens to be among the ten most dynamic cities of the world according to a survey by Newsweek)

It is bye bye to the land of roti and makkan(albeit for a short while) and holaz to the land of idly and dosa!!!


I am going to CHENNAI!!!!! yohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!


It is almost like breaking fetters and running free.


I keep imagining how nice it would be to speak in tamil again.I would meet people who understand why I speak the way I do. I am going to madras!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention the joy of reading The Hindu everyday instead of having to wake up to Mallika Sherawat's half clad pictures and nonsense ramblings of socialites.

I keep imagining how horrible it will be to meet southy men again-men who would wonder why I am working and not getting married, men who would comment on every metre of cloth I wear.

I am looking forward to see the metro chennai my friends keep bragging about.


Best of all I will be a nights journey away from home. Nothing can beat the joy of having near and dear ones at an arms length!

My friend Hari(who writes nonsense comments in every piece I write) informs me with glee that I am going to get roasted alive. He also takes cheer in telling me I have to commute for almost 1 hr to work everyday!!


But buddies I have survived Delhi/noida/ghaziabad. I am ready to take chennai head on!!!!

2 much hai

Ads which have got me cracking in the past few days:

1)heard on red fm:

PRINCE PHARMA presents " 2 MUCH HAIR OIL"

First of all Prince pharma sounds like a company that can only be named by an erstwhile classmate of mine(Tissians am sure u know who)!

and second of all- 2 much hair oil? I thought nature power soap( southy soap brand) was funny but 2 much hair oil takes the cake.


Seen in sector 18 noida( a posh shopping locality):

2)FAMILY SWIMSUITS AVAILABLE HERE.

Now, wonder why its is called family. Like chandler says to monica looking at her fat days swimsuit"that could cover manhattan", I think this is a one swimsuit for all package.

Greetings!

I am bach and if you have been a loyal reader of my blog you should be replying- am mozart.


When you are working so hard- hard enough to save an organization from crumbling, accessing your mail and blog from your lap top becomes a luxury. A luxury that I have been granted today!!

My sales office just got shifted- from a residence building to something to a semblance of an office.

An office with no fans. Some bright soul thought- Why need a fan when u have an AC. Well unfortunately the bright one forgot that we are in Noida- the land of power cuts.

people here cant walk because they are slipping in their own sweat. They cant type becuase the sweat makes the keyboard go haywire


The AC doesnt work on generator back up and so here I am sweating by the gallons making up stupid trivia in mind.


for eg:
If all the sweat oozed in this noida office was to be collected it would serve to wash the leaning tower of Piza once.

gross aint i?

My sales stint is coming to an end.Coming up next is a review at the division office where I have to make a fancy ppt with flying objects and try and con ppl into thinking that I have indeed worked and that my data makes sense.


After that I am off to a location which has not yet been confirmed.

Watch this space for details of that lucky location.

The world is green!

After shelling out a bomb for my phone bill this morning, I walked out of the hotel Kangaal(Pauper) Had worked up a bill of 9500 bucks for my employers by way of food and hotel rent. Thank God, I didnt have to pay that!!!

As I walked out of the hotel, with absolutely no money in hand, my driver brought a car in front of me. NO AC. NO RADIO and wait there is more...the driver didnt know his way to the office.My phone currency was running out.

Damn. Today sure is my lucky day.

Stopped at the ATM nearby to replenish my resources.

Voila!!! My salary had been credited.

MY FIRST EVER SALARY.

What a feeling!!!!!!!!


Wish I had worked the first five days of the month, so that I could have got my full share.
Actually nah! Am quite happy with this.

Calls went flying- first to folks.

then to other co interns- "Buddies, the moneys has arrived" Ah I like being the harbinger of good news. The heralder of hope.

LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!

Alas, no one to celebrate with!


Wishlist: New wallet to carry all the money

Color of the month: GREEN

I felt like the Mcdonalds Ad...tarapum papa..... i am loving it...

My first ever hard earned green notes. Okie now am pushing it.

So off I go to work today and ya, earn more!!! While the youth of India can waste their lives by ambling out of malls with PYT(pretty young things) .


PS:

I except all congratulation messages only over phone.
I also except cash, gift vouchers, credit cards, any other form of material loving!!!!

That will be the day!

Started today with max enthu. Why? Because I had not done much work yesterday. Simple aint it?

Anyways. Started my day at sector 18 today. Sector 18- noida- where all roads lead to the mall.

Entered this place called Top Breads in the same sector.

suave? no

swank? no

hmmmm, I am still searching for a word to describe this place.

aH, Well NICE. That is the word.

It is a small, nice , little place. I entered to find the owner talking to the manager. After exchanging a few words with Tarun(owner)he granted permission to randomly pick out people and make them answer my seemingly stupid questions.I took my position- geared to pounce on unwitting customers who entered the shop to answer my questionnaire.

There were not many customers at that point of the day. So i chose a nice little table for myself- a two seater, right next to the salad bar, took out my book and started on it.

The manager was gracious enough to order a lemonade for me.

Now I havent heard the word lemonade in ages. The last time I heard of it was when I was reading Enid Blyton. Lemonade, orangade, kidney pie. Enid Blyton made even milk sound yummy in her books.

I got a green liquid in a huge glass and saw mint leaves floating on top. Ah mint, the perfect coolant for the summer. The drink superceeded my expectations.

It was perfect. The salad bar, the leamonade, the book, the manager Mr.Banerjee (who was an elderly gentleman who was really sweet with me and had no issues with me hanging around)

The place was all set, waiting for the customers to arrive. The bread was freshly baked. The donuts had just been placed on the shelf, the pastries looked exciting. The tea was brewing. The salad bar had just been set. Macaroni, veggies to chicken. Everything! Chilled and ready to be taken away.

I sat there in my corner soaking in every sight of this place. The ambience was to my liking- Wood all over the place.

I sat there and watched the people who came in. The things they bought. I troubled a few of them with my questions. But technically I could have just been sitting there the whole day.

I missed my near and dear ones when I saw friends and family meet up there.

I tried to make up ideas in my head as to what people might be thinking when they came into that place. I conjured up imaginary dialogues between two girls(one who resembled my sister in law) , an angry young lady who walked in fuming, another lady with her kid and pink motorazr.

I was amused by the sight of a very elegant lady who hopped skipped and jumped at the sight of a salad bar. She took a cup and started filling it. Five minutes later she was still piling on the salad in her cup.

I knew I could have easily become a fixture in that place. Someone who sat there all day with her book and ya, ate her salad and drank her lemonade too!

It wasnt one of those pseudo places where the TV was turned on but was on mute with the music blaring loud. Both of it was playing. But you couldnt mistake one for the other. Neither did it interfere. Taste-that is what they call it. Taste.

I truly wished I could have been with my bro and rajini there. It seemed like a place they might have liked too!(They claim to be classy-cant help this wink;))

I reluctantly reminded myself that I had work beyond top breads. So i wrapped my questionnaire session. Thanked Mr.Banerjee . On my way out I swore to myself that I would be back there if ever I write a book. With my notebook and music I will be there- in the table by the salad bar.

chut mut

Taking a well deserved break from my market visit right now.

I am out in the blistering and if I can add barnacles sun, while the youth of India waste themselves away in AC offices. Now that I have rubben in enough that I am working hard I shall promptly move on.

My thoughts are into two parts. The first part is as follows. The next one will follow when I am a bit more relaxed and not so burnt out(I dont miss a chance to show off).

I realised, at the danger of sounding like the recent peter england ad, that what I want in life is really the smaller things.

Small joys in my life take precedence over most things.

Small joys of going to a nice bistro with family/friends. I have never gone on a nice lunch with my brother(Blame it on coimbatore which has nothing close to what is in the metros/other cities). I would love to go on a nice lunch/sunday brunch with my brother and my to be sister in law-Rajini.

I was sitting in this nice cafe today when a girl passed by me and she looked like my sister in law. The funny part I havent really met this Rajini person. But, it is quietly sinking into me that she is going to be immediate family and soon at that. Wouldnt it be lovely to get dressed nicely and go out for lunch with bro and rajini?

Small joys which rush into my heart when I see a salad bar in a quiet way side cafe.

Simple ones when offered a lemonade with mint instead of an iced tea.

Of course meeting loved ones whom you havent met in a long time.

And much simpler when people are more nice to you than expected.

Life for me is in the smal, l'il, chut mut, things.

But contrary to what life is, the stress is on the bigger things in life and I guess it is back to my market visit for me.

Trapped

I entered the hotel after work today. At the entrance I noticed a lot of bedecked aunties. Oh not another party in the hotel, I thought to myself. Loads of Dinchak dinchak music again!

I was waiting for the elevator to come. When it reached my floor, another bevy of aunties came out of the elevator. Before the last one could step out the elevator door closed. Weird, I thought, because that was much lesser in time than what it usually takes to close. I helped her by pressing the elevator button from outside. I got in along with another girl and her mum. The aunty was holding her younger kid. Ah, cherubic I thought to myself looking at the kid. The elevator door closed and before I could press the third floor button, it started moving down. I thought someone must have called the elevator down. But NO!
The door opened again and I stared at concrete walls in front of me.

THE LIFT WAS STUCK!

okie calm. Press the alarm button as the instructions pointed out.

I pressed the alarm button only to realise it didnt work.

FREEZE! Isnt this one of those moments where you start panicking?

When you start thinking why you havent told your loved ones how much you love them?

How much you wish you werent there and elsewhere doing something else? Everything that movies, music, sitcoms tell you.

Well, to my surprise I turned out to be quite hmmm, optimisitic.

I had this feeling that nothing would happen.

We felt two jerks. I thought, "ah, the rescue mission is on".

I was mistaken again. The elevator door opened again and people asked if we were ok.

Ya sure. I am okie. I am in a elevator. Concrete walls staring at me. I sure am okie!!!

The door closed. The girl kept shouting" We are going to die!!Let me press some button and see" . I had half a mind to slap her. We started suffocating a bit. The tension was in the air.

The kid broke out into a whimper. The aunty joked with it saying,"why are you crying?"
The aunty was damn realistic.

She said, " We are not going to fall down and die" - How nice and optimistic like me.

She continued"We might just suffocate and die"


The door opened again. I could hear and see people above me. We were in between two floors. They passed us a chair and we all climbed out.


I came out. Started walking up the stairs as though nothing had happened. Reached my room.

Sat on the bed.

I noticed that my hands were shivering. It struck me. SHIT!!

SHIT.....OH MAN! SHIT!

happy high

I am a slightly happier person now. I have got my project.
This afternoon my boss called me to his room and decided to put an end to my chill out sessions.
He thought, thought, and thought.Finally landed on a particular topic. He was sweet and gave me a nice project about which I have no idea about.When I went downstairs to ask a few existing employees data on the particular project all that they did was snigger. One was gracious enough to say "heheheheeh.So you are the bakra for this project Huh??"
So i decided to start my market visit today. I was roasted and fried mid way through my list of outlets and was happy to see a mall on my market list. Entered the mall and started sipping some ice tea and sat there in the pretext of strategizing my project.


revelation of the day: My drivers name is Pushpinder and not Uspinder. I am really bad at this UP accent.


He was busy perfecting his vanishing act and I was victim to it almost thrice today.

I got out of the mall and realised I am too tired. How did i realise that? I was smiling to myself for no reason(Please refer to earlier blogs about how I can get high without drinking)I even felt like Elaine in seinfeld after she had downed some pain killer tablets. I saw an army truck pass by and thought they looked like the guys from Beverly Hilly billies!
I kept laughing.I was too damn tired. I started outsourcing my work by sending Pushpinder to find out where the shops were. Only if he confirmed it was existing and not closed down did I get out.
Meanwhile Pushpinder would locate all the possible PCO s and make calls to his girl friend much to my annoy.
I also realised that youth in india have no ambition.
I also feel they are conspiring against me.
All day all i could see was trendy youth ambling about in the streets, walking aimlessly with characters called boyfriends/girlfriends.
Man while I work my ass off here, all that they do is NOTHING. Gee, I am adding so much value to the nation(now I am blabberring)
I saw a school girl walking with her books and all I could think was" Man wish I could go back to campus/school days(not engg college but)"
I guess its all a mirage.
Anyways. I am off for the day.
I am still laughing.

Just chill.....chilll....just chill....

I am back in office. My boss is super busy today and has asked me to chill out till evening.
Went to a relatives house and fell asleep promptly. I havent done a thing in the last week but I have been working and sunday is the only day I get off. So i slept off. This is called cognitive psychology.
I am done with my share of throwing a few words which people have to google up and understand.
I am off till my boss calls me to brief me about the project.
Until then I am going to be reading blogs and "chilling out" just like my boss has asked me to.
I am also eavesdropping on all the sales people.My sales region has not had a very great month. So i guess it is going to be a lot "f***" in the air today.

one day at a time

On a quiet saturday afternoon
While I wait for my boss to come
While everyone ignores my presence on messengers
Lest I ask them to read my blog and comment
Life seems endless.
Three weeks at my first job have passed
I still feel like I am doing field work at TISS.
Looking at my management trainee t shirt with my company name on it, a colleague remarked
"oh that is nice. You need the t shirt. It gives a lot of enthu"
I am ready to wear 5 of those t shirts if I have to.
Life seems long and winding.
I am here unwillingly at this phase while all I want to do is go back to my earlier ones.
While am supposed to be all happy and chirpy and tell the world
"Hey look I have arrived",
I am just able to manage a feeble"I am still here- hanging but here"

A brand new day and some resolutions for the same!

Good morning Ppl!
I am at work. Today is the day I get to know my first project. (yes I work on saturdays. I am in a sales office remember?)
A friend of mine called me(on long distance) and said " Your blog is thankfully showing signs of getting better. Atleast it sounds remotely english"
I am enraged!! So I have decided to
1) Spell check all my entries.2) Format well3) Use punctuation appropriately4) Avoid the .... and the !!!!!!( I know for sure one friend who will be disappointed if I do this)5) Write at a speed which is much lesser than the speed of my thought(Which is the reason for all the errors)
My dad has managed to fish out a relatives address in Ghaziabad.So am off to their place for sunday. Some yumm food is on the cards.
I am also working on some tactics to get all my readers to comment on my blog. Any ideas please leave as comment(Normally I would have added a ;) and !. But I shall abstain.)
Have a great weekend people.

Of drivers and kings

Holaz to everyone...
After a tiring route ride, i went on a marathon reading session. I am currently engaged with "maximum city". I chose this book deliberatley because I am missing my days and friends in mumbai.
Unto a new a day and some new revelations.
My luck with car drivers has been quite bad. My driver at home -sankar has been with us for ages. But even today he can single handedly spoil my dad's mood due to bad driving.
Sankar used to drop me in school and college. He knew all my friends and would be angry with me if I didn't introduce my friends to him. He also knew which girl was going with which guy and hence would act as my personal gossip updater.
In college he was known to give a complex to my acquaintances. Every morning, I would be late and would speed till my college. The stretch from the entrance to the gate, he would speed like he was schumi's long lost trainer(also because i used to cry my throat hoarse that I was getting late). He even used to have juvenile speed contests with equally juvenile kids from my college. My classmate was once enraged with sankar trying to race with him. I was in the car studying for a test when sankar was trying to compete with this classmate. My colleague was completely convinced that i was egging my driver to do so while poor me was completely oblivious to what was happening around me.
Sankar's ideal world would be a road rash setting. the kinds where he can take a whip and lash out at near by drivers. Anyone trying to overtake sankar was a sinner and had to atone for it.
Sankar had no regard for dogs, cats, and at times even weak human beings scurrying past his vehicle. He was the king od the road.His vehicle was the best on the road. Any vehicle smaller than his had no right to overtake him. That rule would also apply to vehicles bigger than his.
He had a physical appearance to match up to this image. A bit portly, he had a moustache which would send virumandi scurrying into the jungle, veerappan cowering in fear. He was almost like a dacoit on the road. He usedto scare the hell out of the women on the road. His comments on women were scathing.
There was this girl who used to stay in our locality. I met her at a party and she came up and spoke to me and said" your driver is a menace to our colony.". Everyday when this girl left for college, sankar would follow her in our car and drive very close to her and in the process scare the hell out of her.
Sankar was a hindu by birth and chritian by choice. this aided him surely in one manner- he got holidays for both diwali and christmas.
Sankar had a love marriage and there was time when he used to regale my brother with his town bus love stories.
He can make friends with great ease. So much so he even gets parking space in a lot which is full.
The thumb rule is Sankar will never be found near the car. He will always be found at a distance from which he can spot us but we cant spot him. He will be invariably found smoking.
Well the natural question would be why do still have him as our driver.
My dad has tried sacking him a million times. But he always comes back. Sometimes he attacks my mum by some emotional blackmail. Even my mum has given up on him now.
But sankar does have some mean moves and turns I must say.
So I am now in the land of Ghaziabad where drivers of skoda spit on the roads while driving. The company sent me a cab. The driver was USPINDER. The first day Mr. USPs came to pick me up he did a turn which cleaned the road and settled all the dust and mud in my lungs.
Mr.Uspinder entertains(?) me with his love story every day ( thats is approx. 2 hours).
Mr.Usps is also never found near the car. Neither is he found when I need to move urgently.
When he promises he will be there on time, he is ABSENT(as was the case today).
So today I got a driver, who asked me first thing in the morning" Madam, what time will you leave today?"
On my way to work, this man honked continously for almost 1.5 minutes. For what? There were two scooters driving in front of us. After he over took them he started honking again at a car which was way ahead of him. Another King of the road.
I saw my lady luck, sitting on the car hood smiling contently with glee.

Say a l'il prayer for me

Our Boss, who never art in office,

Hallowed be thy Name, thy race.

Thy kingdom have I come.

In my appraisal will thy will be done.

On KRAs and performance bonuses.

Give us this day your precious time.

And forgive us our management trainee foolish pride

As we forgive those higher up who trample us.

And lead us not into weekly meetings,

But deliver us from route rides and depot visits.

For thine is the kingdom,

and the power,

and the glory,

for ever and ever.

Amen.

route riding

We all use the terms "neither here nor there", "here and there", "us and them"....
Today i quite experienced what it was.
Now if all of you are waiting for some spice filled story waiting to unfold. hehehehe am sorry. I was just referring to my route ride.
what is a route ride?
Route ride is a well.... ahem.... a ride which the company offers you- on a tin truck.
This is so that you visit the market and understand sales first hand.
I have done enough of the route rides. Starting from summers induction, during my project, during my finals induction and now. But I think it is like a perfect managers tool.
HA...trainee...what do i do with her? I have no time- send her on a route ride.
These bloody management grads who have no idea about the market relaities, I hate them- Send them on route rides.
Route rides are nothing less than the torture chair-LITERALLY.
So today i found myself on the front end of the truck, sitting amidst the sales executive who also doubles up as the driver and not one but two of his helpers. So if you know your math well- that is four of us in a seat meant for 2-3.
These guys are very courteous to you if you are nice to them. But nio matter how courteous I am, I end up having a silent fight with one of the helpers for space to sit inside the truck.
So today I went on a 5 hour route ride with my butt....well half my butt on the seat and the other half on a ....guess what?? a pepsi crate!!!!!!!!!
The guys were very nice and they bought me tanda(coke/thumsup). You cant refuse them because then they will not accept you. You have to drink the tanda even if you are a non-csd drinker.
On the way I took a break and stepped into a barista and grabbed a few bites.
I got a free darshan of sector 18 in Noida today. I sometimes dont understand the logic. Sector 18 has everything. I mean everything. From Papa John's to domionos to pizza hut to punjabi by nature to sagar ratna to lavanya to subway.
We roamed around sector 18. Every shop i visted tempted me to eat something. But I chose not to. The breads inside top breads, the sweets inside nathu sweets.
I also understood what people mean by between the devil and the deep sea. I was inside the truck.The sun blistering above us. I refused to get down because of the heat. But inside I was having a free sauna effect and sweating by the gallons.
I remembered enid blyton's usage of the sentence"the heat lulled them to sleep". I even managed to fall asleep inside the truck during an exceptionally long waiting period.
Then in order to get a bit more active I got down and went around some stores. I saw a store by name add-ons. I thought what a sad name for a store. But stepped in anyways. Once inside I was greeted b a polite elderly gentleman. It was a book store. Neatly arranged unlike Galgotias. The cool air on my skin felt like heaven. Then I realised what I wanted to do in life- I want to run a book store.
I will be the ever charming host.MY books will be neatly arranged. I will not put my books on discount saying" Akila recommends". I will have nice huge, colorful cushions. A tea bar will be there. Hot muffins are a must.
crash..... That was MY DREAM ENDING. Am back to reality. Of sales offices and toilets that dont flush.

AMMINJIKARAI AND ARAKONAM

While I was waiting in officefor my boss to come, a grand idea struck my head. This idea might help me achieve my dream of not having to work at all!!!
I have selected two places. These are potential high power cities. They are : Amminjikarai and arakonam.
I am going to build huge office buildings and ask all the corporates from the world to set up office there.
I will build office buildings in all shapes and sizes. Some offices will be in the underground.
These cities will have no public transport. So that all car companies can benefit from this and set up more factories here.
There shall be no safe place for people to stay on rent. So they will buy houses and this can send my real estates rates soaring.
I will also build malls so that people spend more on the junk food that gets manufactured in these cities.
I will also bring in some historical significance to my cities. Did you know Gurgaon was the place where Dronacharya's ashram was?
Well amminjikarai could have well been the place where T rajender had the inspiration for his songs.
and Arakonam could be the place which looks like half of the bermuda triangle when viewed from a helicopter.
For all those who are interested in investing in this idea of mine.....your money is in safe hands!