Sunday, March 26, 2006

money for nothing??

Have you ever heard of a proposition where you pay money and get yourself tortured in return...?? well not in all cases but in most cases....

If you havent, then welcome to the girl's world of beauty salons....now even the man's...


As a teenager I used to going to the salon like plague. My mum was tired of goading me to make a trip....No way....

Apart from the once-in-a- while haircuts, I refused to go to the salon. But such are nature s ways that I did have to start making those trips once in a while....

Sometimes I wonder, what sort of a genius must have been the person(s) who started this whole concept of salons.....In the same breath I also think it must have been one grave accident which gave the person this bright spark of idea.....

coming to think of it how else can one explain the whole grand idea of pouring hot wax on oneself and ripping it off with plastic...!!!!!!!!

Men....you complain about removing bandaids from hand....Imagine this....

Shouldnt we also blame the evolution of thinking which left people thinking that body hair on men is macho while on women it is disgusting!!!!!!!!

Going to think of it, its just the human mind which is the basis of everything.....

economy is based on the human wants and behaviour, supported by cognitive psychology which believes that there aint no such as the environment...its all in the head....

okie enough digression.....back to hot wax.....

if that isnt painful enough you can choose to have a thread rolled over your face, like ants biting at a continous rate....Then you can also try to get your nose stabbed with a thin steel rod, have ammonia smelling bleach applied all over your face, a contraption running over your face trying to remove those harmless but ugly worts. If all this is not enough you can go down the path of paying through your nose to have a chemical applied all over your hair which would make your hair(or rather whatever hair is left after the chemical has been washed off) straight......



My friend went in for this process and had tears in her eyes when she was promptly handed over a huge clump of hair to save for posterity...Now her hair looks like a 80's film stars hair do(the one where they used buns for the heightened look)....

Another friend of mine was called in for a complimentary change of hair color programme and they turned her hair blonde..... Ashwathi monroe....what a personality....!!!!!

But of course not all of it is bad, the pedicures can create miracles to ones feet...They can convert cracked feet looking like a topography map of africa to a aerial view of the pyrenees......Also the hair washes can be relaxing , but i can do all those myself....!!!!!!

Adding to all this , it comes with the additional benefit of highly trained/skilled personnel who can make you look excited for weeks to come with just one wrong move of a thread over your eye brows.

They also offer microdermaabrasions(God save my skin), skin polishing etc etc.....

Dandruff trouble??? not to worry.....they will run a contraption that will give slight shocks if your hair is oily or too frizzy and also kill the dandruff......

Everytime I get my upperlips waxed i ask the gal.."is there no way i can do away with this forever?" for am not lucky like a few good souls have no trace of hair on face, hands and legs.....


Maybe i should just get myself laser-ed....i would have ...if only i could afford it.....Rs 10,000 can get you hair free hands thanks to laser.... Rs1500*3 sittings for upperlip....
all the hair is gone...FOREVER!!!!

If all this aint enough for you, salons also offer to pierce body parts.... how interesting is that.....

Earlier we could afford to wear just normal clothes to salons. Now,the lady who waxes my hand wears better clothes than i do.....

And everytime my hairdresser cuts my hair he goes "tch...tch....dandruff".

....hello am just human!!!!!!!!!! let us see your hair for split ends, greys....how nice would that be.....


so added to the pain I also get humiliated.....

But as Dylan said The times they are a changing(wrong situation but nevertheless love quoting Dylan) Now i cant stop fussing over the lenght of my eye brows, the right shape, the curves etc etc....

And at the end of a session when i am left a few hundred notes dearer, I look at myself.....devoid of body hair, a body piercing, silky smooth hair....a glance to the mirror i reassure myself--money well spent


....it is all worth it for that one second of satisfaction you get when you look at yourself....


As a friend said....."tough being us" ...isnt it...???

Thursday, March 23, 2006

bid farewell to a magical city...and some magical times

I was sitting in my desk...listening to Josh Groban's version of Starry starry nights..... writing my strategy assignment.....

I suddenly felt a lump in my throat......tears trickled down ....dropped heavy on the mintzberg classic that i was holding........

end of some magical times here at tiss, i thought to myself....

I am running away home today with no time to even realise...it s all over.....

my tears rolled down steady.....i chose to let them.....i chose to let that feeling sink in....
i chose to drown myself in that one moment of undescribable emotion......

the people i met, the good times i shared, the not so happy times flashed past.....i felt like some movie where all this was running in slow motion in the back ground......

i felt myself sink deeper into that quirky feeling.....

I got to know myself.....spent time with myself..... here in this place.....

and here i was leaving this place which was my home for close to two years.....

I met some magical people in the course of these 2 years.....some i lost.......

and yet another cliched line of how am going to carry a piece of everything experienced these two years with me....wherever i go.....

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey'
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colours on the snowy linen land


GOODBYE MUMBAI....good bye tiss....


bye to all the lovely times....

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Indian Idol!

Have been in Mumbai for the past two years. In this time span I have had a variety of experiences....ranging from falling off running trains in Bandra station to wading through knee deep water to witnessing gigantic human pyramids.......

But I never even thought i would be party to an event which defines Mumbai- the tinsel town....
ya thats right- a tv show shoot!!!!

I have seen shootings before in Mumbai, just one of those passing by shoots which happened to happen in front of my fieldwork office, which happened to have naseeruddin shah, who happened to look delicious in his salt and pepper+ and cargo pants look. I am digressing from the main topic or rather getting distracted;)!

SCENE 1:

Well, this was, i should say freak of an incident. I had already made plans of watching syriana with a friend when my cousin priya(who is as crazy is as me) called up and asked me

" hey akki....where the hell are you??(thatz the eternal question all my local guardians ask me the minute they pick up the phone)

after all the niceties etc, priya asked me if I wanted to accompany her to see the shooting of Indian idol. She had a couple of passes for the shooting(thanks to some phone in radio show) and wanted to know if i was game,.........

hmmmmm indian idol vs. Syriana

One was a show which i hardly followed, while the other one was a political thriller, a movie i had been waiting for, and well, had george clooney in it...do i need any other reason to even think twice.....Syriana I thought....

Suddenly there was a thought triggerred in my brain. "I am going to be in Mumbai for hardly another 10-15 days,...and where the hell am i going to see a shooting again???"

so making a mental note to say sorry to clooney and then to sushant with whom i was supposed to watch the movie with, I agreed to go with priya!!!!!!!

We agreed to meet outside pheonix mills the next day.

SCENE 2:

Me outside phoenix mi(a)lls:.....had missed breakfast, had caught the bus just in time to reach the mall...was famished.....

Priya,the loving gal that she is,had packed aloo parathas for me(wah.....made another mental note to be as nice as she is when i become a mum)! We found out way to kamala studio and said "phew, here we are at last...now some entertainment"!

We joined the bee line to get in.....I was pretty surprised that the whole set up was pretty well organized. We were taken into another waiting area. There was water passed around for all of us. We waited for an hour before they opened the door. But in this one hour, it was pretty good fun to observe people.

The first thing that i noticed was : I and priya were blushing!!!

the second thing that i noticed was : everyone who walked in after us was also blushing....

third thing: there were people who were as vela(vetti, job-less) as I and priya were !!!!

think they were also shooting virgins;)!

Both of us were startled to know that they even served lunch for all of us: roti, dal, sabji and rice and it tasted pretty good too(i just tasted a morsel from priya's plate)

After about 45 minutes, they let the extras in...these are the guys who get paid for being in the audience!!! what a nice way to earn some pocket money huh!!!

finally after almost 1.5 hours they let us into the main shooting area. God, decently dressed uncles and aunties surprised us by rushing to get the centre seats!!!! I also met a lady (who i think does no work apart from visiting shootings) who knew how everything worked. She had come in with her sons(who also dont go to school and accompany their mother everywhere;)!) and a neighbour(i assume;))!
She said that for a half hour serial with dialogues it takes four hours to shoot...when i heard that i started regretting my decision!!!!

Me and priya got a decent view from were we were.....We were passed on some placards and photographs of participants. Both of us completely avoided that and even coaxed people sitting next to us to not get it so that the camera does not loom anywhere near us.

One of the organizers went on stage and asked audience to hold up its placards for each participant and cheer and this was recorded......

After all the tamasha....the hosts mini mathur and aman varma walked in with the least of fanfare...

Then came the judges-- anu malik, sonu nigam and farah khan and special judge Dia Mirza...

Being the cynics that both of us are ...we were quite sure that the whole show was rigged. But were pleasantly surprised to know that the whole thing was almost seamless except for a few breaks.....

The participants were mediocre except for one guy, who was too good!!!

To our delight/discomfort, this was a special show where all the participants sang two songs...

The crowd was divided into halves: the ones who were sitting behind the judges and the ones in front of the judges....
the ones in front of the judges did all the hard work....they had to stand up everytime the singers came near by. Sit at the cue of the directors, have fun when the directors asked them to........

I bet if anu was there she would have dragged me to the front area!!!!

Before the show started I asked Priya..." priya I want these boards which say applause....silence, awwwwwwwwwwww.... for me to emote"!!!! priya just silently pointed to an electronic board nearby which blinked applause every time we had to behave like the audience!!!!

I mean just applause???.....just plain calpping of hands???,......is that all that was required of me????!


anyways....the show got over pretty quick, but they had forgotten to shoot Dia Mirza's entry scene....and this being the holi episode, there was the chewed and flogged to death idea of men with dhols to accompany dia's grand entry. Just when i thought that, the dhols went off and the men started dancing with such amazing grace, i couldnt help but sympathize why the directors fall prey to this idea time and again!!!!


There were some technical snags and the shoot was getting delayed. Audience started getting impatient and there was this husband and wife who started shouting at the organizers. I had been noticing them. They had come with friends of theirs(couples again)...

Suddenly this lady got angry and dragged her husband till the exit point and started fighting with the organizers.....she reasoned that she had a kid and so did the other woman and she was getting worried about the kids and the husband said that "Mera kudh ka dhandha hai...Indian idol mera kaam nahin hai...aapne bola 3:30 aur ab che bajh gaye hain...hamey jaana hai!!"......

I found it extremely funny. here was this guy who had left his Dhandha to come and watch a stupid shooting of Indian idol with his friends and didnt have a problem till the minute the show was officially over and he couldnt wait because his kid was waiting...???! the shoot was already delayed by almost 3 hours (although we were not told any timing, we just assumed 12-3) and suddenly he realised his kid was alone????????!!!!!!

and the uncle in question a few paragraphs back, was suddenly impatient to go home....and started enquiring" all the judges have gone....all the participants have gone...why should i stay back?"....I thought to myself "you fool....at 12... when none of the judges were there....none of the participants had arrived why did you arrive "

The crew members were really nice and thanked the audience....Me and priya found our way out. abandoned our shopping plans and just decided to go home......

When we got back home, priya and me had dinner and she dozed off immediately on the couch. On being questioned by uncle(priya's dad) i said " oh uncle, me and priya are very tired" and he looked at me quizzically and said" what did you guys do...just sit and watch right???"!!!!!!!

Well that brought us to the end of an interesting day, I did one other thing that was not in my list of things to do before i left mumbai...(btw i have progressed quite a distance in that list)!!!!

Will miss my arbit life in Mumbai!
Good night and Goodluck!!!!!!!

Btw the show happens on sony Tv on monday evening at 9:00 plz...watch...and vote for K-A-R-U-N-Y-A to 2525.....

AND YA WHEN YOU HEAR THOSE CLAPS, YOU KNOW WHO WAS THERE DOING SUCH AN AWESOME JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

had to post this one

Was in the process downloading a Joan Baez mp3 when i stumbled upon this error message:

kinda found it weird!!

Unethical content browsing service is available from 11:00 P.M. to 06:00 A.M.(IST).As per Current Policy laid by NOFRA Implementation Committee it prevents your request from being allowed at this time


NOFRA: NAVAL OFFICERS RESIDENCE AREA.....