Friday, September 22, 2006

Manni Vanthacha?

This one is dedicated to My brother and sis in law:



Did you know that the whole of Tam Brahm family and friends I have are officially mad??


My brother s wedding just got over.

I tied the thaali( second and third knot).


Dont think the girls relatives trusted me enough. I was shown the saree I would get if i tied the knot properly!


and one maami( not a bully one though) Konthai, it is two knots. One and then two!


I was literally shivering when I tied the knots. Told my brother " strong knots there buddy- what do i get ?"

only to realise he was not hearing me!!

Anyways, I got down from the stage and started searching for the slippers I had lost when one bully maami pulled me and said " Manni Vantha cha?"(has you sis in law come?)

I was just short of saying" one - leave my hands you bully and two- didnt you see her coming since the last few days?"

Instead I just smiled and said" oh ya and gave her my famous mile-long-smile"

I continued searching for my slippers when one mama came and said " manni vanthacha?"

I thought, "oh he must be related to that bully maami"

As I was walking towards the dining hall, a group of my relatives called out " Manni vanthacha?"

You crazy people, what were you doing so long? sleeping while my brother tied the thaali?

I was running behind my kid cousin when one maami called out so that the whole of coimbatore could hear" Akila, manni vanthacha? Next you!!!"

Okie! maami, thanks for granting me that permission!

I was attending a phone call when BULLY MAAMI ASSOCIATION president walked up to me and said" yenna Akila, manni vanthacha"

me: "No maami. She kind of missed her flight. She is stuck in Arizona. So my brother just tied a thali to one girl we found who matched her facial features"

Maami" so , when is yours?"

Me: Oh, he is on the way maami.

I scooted off leaving her to think about it. I realised the implication of that statement when that Bully maami walked upto my mom and said, "what Jaya , you never told me Akila is engaged. I was thinking of suggesting her name for my cousin's daughter's sister in law's adopted son who is now in LA"

I found my already harried mum screaming for my name in the next two minutes!


After many more manni vanthacha s and next you only statements, I found my slippers!

What it takes to be Ananthalakshmi Hariharasubramoni

Scene 1: I enter the office premises.
Swank corporate office, receptionists with looks that can kill, smartly dressed executives, flowers and all the works of an MNC.
I enter the office, with my files, listening to my nano.
Suddenly the receptionist shouts" What?? Ananthalakshmi Hairihara what?? "
And I turn and look around to see who takes the pain of calling out my full name. I am even flattered someone has even managed to cross my first name.
I run to the reception desk only to see a courier guy with a courier for me.

It's ananthalakshmi I proclaim to a bunch of people who care a damn. Suddenly the receptionist perks up with a smile and says , "what is is your surname?"
Me: I dont have a surname.
R: but you said something. Some hari hara.
Me: Forget it, give me the courier and let me go bury my head in a pile of sand.


Scene 2: Person at the next cubicle wants to borrow a pen. She hasnt spoken to me since the time I have come. She walks up gingerly and says " What is your name? "
Me: Ananthalakshmi.
she: OH! what a long name. Can I borrow your pen?
Me: No. Not in a 100 years
Scene 3: The hot receptionist calls out "eh Lakshmi..Eh Lakshmi...You Anantha laxmi"
me:" Oh me? My name is ANANTHALAKSHMI.
she: yaya...whatever. Tell me your name, I want to list it in the sheet containing the extension numbers.
Me: I am Ananthalakshmi.She: Surname?
Me: Just a H
She: But you said something .Some hari hara.
Me: No. That was my evil doppleganger roommate. I am just Ananthalakshmi.H.
she: Do you want me to add it?
Me: Ya maybe if you give everyone two phones in the office. One showing my first name and my surname following in the screen of the second phone.

I am ecstatic that I am atleast getting listed on the extn no. list.
I call up Vidya a co intern to tell her about this exciting bit of news.

Vidya: Arrey But your name is coming as anatha laksmi
Me: Damn that hot-now-turned-dumb girl

I call her up and spell out my name and ask her to correct it.
I call up Vidya again and ask her to check if the spelling is right.

Vidya: Now it is Ananth Lakshimi.
I take out a paper and write my name in bold letters with a permamnent marker, huge enough for person from opp. block to read and shove it to the receptionist.

R: So is there a space between Anantha and Lakshmi?
Me: no
Call up vidya back
Vidya: hahahahahahaha...
Me: What?
Vidya: Now it is Anantha Lakshmi!
I give up. Atleast my name is right.

Scene 4: Lunch with senior employees and top management.

This really hot guy walks up and starts talking to me. I cross the stage where I have told him my name and he has managed to catch it after a zillion times when suddenly someone calls out for Akila and I turn.

He is confused. I explain Akila is meant for all the people who are incompetent to pronounce my actual name. Just then I cross into the threshold where my name becomes the after dinner joke.

A Friend turned foe: So you do know ther her surname is Hariharasubramoni right?
me: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have just an initial. H!

FTF: hahahaha and have you seen her visiting card??! hahahaha. She has two cards- one for her name and the other carrying all contact details.
By now I am already half drowning in a 7 feet pool of water.


Damn! there goes another one.
Afternoon passes by, evening comes and many such after dinner jokes on my name, I meet the cute guy in the office hallway!

I am sure he wont remember me or my mile long name, when he walks up and says, " Lakshmi right?"

yes, yes a thousand times over!

Lakshmi, Laxmi, Lakshimi, kuppa, suppa, muppa, anything for you!