ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY

To all those have been missing me and my blog. I am Bach....
If you are like a friend of mine you will answer ," I am Mozart"....okie leaving my silliness behind, with no further due I
present to you MY LIFE!!!!!!
I am currently in Ghaziabad. My office is in Noida. I commute everyday for almost 90-100 minutes.
I have been put up in a hotel in ghaziabad. The reason being NOIDA IS UNSAFE.
I have got the better deal. My friends are currently in Jammu and Varanasi!
Yesterday I realised how creepy it can get to be alone. And parents freaking out on the other side of the phone doesnt
help at all. So to forget it all, I switched on the TV and ordered some food and drowned my sorrow.
I am currently learning the basic theoretical aspect of sales and will be thrown into the market from maybe tomorrow
onwards.
Well onto my thoughts.
I just realised that people in North India are completely ignorant of the existence of south India.
They just think of south india as a huge mass of land which produces coconut oil, idly vada sambhar.
All south Indians according to them are madrasis.
Conversations had in the past with other Indians.
Me: " I am from south India"
XYZ: " oh madras!!!"

ABC:"Isn't trivandrum a state?"
ABC(again)" I thought Bangalore was a state"
PQR: " Akila, I got your letter by fax. The ink was faded and I could barely make out the words Coimbatore. So I have entered
your location as chennai"
Me: " What?? It says coimbatore why would you enter chennai?"
PQR" It is all the same, isn't it?"
Me: " What??? noooooo. Okie Tamilnadu is a state and chennai and coimbatore are cities in that state"
PQR: " ya, that is true. But they just changed the name to chennai, didn't you know?"
Me: "oh?"

EFG:"You madrasis are so brilliant. I think it's because of the coconut oil you eat"
Me:" oh you mean the keralites"
EFG" Aren't you all the same?"

South Indian food means idly vada sambhar and masala dosa.
All south Indian movies are copied from hindi.
I have also noticed they are quite oblivious to our existence.
For eg. a North Indian would be offended if he hears two south Indians speak in tamil/mallu/telegu/kannada.
But if two north indians are talking in hindi you are expected to understand. If you dont you are expected to learn hindi.
SO my logic is shouldnt I also be offended that north Indians just presume I know Hindi?

I think south Indians are too tolerant. I also find south Indians wanting to ape the north Indians.
My brother's wedding functions include a mehendi ceremony. My sister in law is planning to wear a lehenga.The mehendi she is
going to wear is not the traditional south indian mailanji which takes 15 mins to apply but the north indian mehendi which
takes 3-4 hours to apply!
Have you ever heard a punjabi having valai kaapu function or wearing a nine yards saree?
If you tell a south indian girl that she looks like a north indian she will be pleased beyond explanation.
But if you tell a north Indian woman she looks like a south indian she will be offended!!!!
I have also noticed that south indians who have been settled in north india take pride in talking hindi fluently. But all my
north Indian friends who have lived all their life in south india hate to be heard speaking tamil in public!

I think we Indians are a hateful lot. The tamils think mallu's are kanji's while the mallus think we tams are pandis.The tams think telegus are goltis.
We all think bengalis are bongs and the bongs in turn think they are the superior of the lot.
If you are a parsi you are a bawa to the world, the marwaris are kanjoos while the gujjus are baniyas!
The townies think the pahadis are a dirty lot while the pahadis think the townies have come to dirty their land.

All in all we are one big bickering family!

In the corporate world also people are parochial but in a different sense. They are parochial about their departments.
The sales guy think sales drives the world. My friend kichu was right when she said " sales people know only one word- I"
Marketing and supply chain serve sales while HR is a useless burden for them.
The marketing guys are too suave to allow anyone come near them.
The supply chain guys think they run the company. The IT guys spy on all of them and reprt them.
Hr....hmmmm while all this happens HR is quite oblivious to the action and considers itself as the backbone while supports
the bickering organization.
The FMCG guys think, BPO/KPOs are useless while the BPO guys think FMCG as an industry is archaic.
The management consultants think they are here to save the lot while the rest of the industry think the consults are
brainless.
According to me everyone is qequally useless. We create a need, con the public by making them believe their life is
incomplete without it and sell the product.

I have noticed in the past few days that the whole of corporate India's favourite past time is HR bashing. Right from the
sweeper till the CEO love to indulge in this activity.

XYZ(thinking to himself) I am so bored. Want to take a break. Let me go kick some HR butt.

Nothing to talk in the meeting- kick some HR butt.

Feeling unimportant and useless-surefire remedy-kick some HR butt.

Today a friend who was done with his work tried to spend some time by indulging in some HR bashing.
A few minutes into the conversation I said" hey you know what? HR is useless. We do nothing. We trouble others. And guess what?? we get paid for this!!! While you slog your ass off and get paid peanuts...hmmmm...wonder why?"!
He was dumbstruck. He was feeling like" damn how can I continue this conversation?"


Maybe I am just going to write a book like shiv khera and say" Loser dont just bashing. they do Hr bashing". Okei sad one....sorry junta. Me got to run. The day has ended. Back to my main aur meri tanhayee!!!

And for all those who are useless,vella, have loads of time on their hands, lots of money to spare please call me and give me
company!!!!